What is the one thing that brings you overwhelming joy? The thing that you crave more of? If this was your last day on earth, is it filled with the those things? OR are you waiting for more money, more time, more freedom?
Sunday was my birthday, so we decided to head into Boston on Friday to explore the city.
The second I drove into the city I caught my breath. I felt that fluttery feeling again..wait? Is that joy? Magic?
Calvin and I both got a twinkle in our eyes and started talking about all of the travels that we are planning. I told him about all the places I wanted him to see in Boston and he told me he wants to visit Paris and China. I want to check out Portland, Philly, and Burlington.
Ever since my trip to Italy during my junior year of college, I've wanted to travel. But even prior to having a child, I never had the extra money or enough time off.
Or did I?
If I take an honest look at my life, my desire to see the world was squashed by my need for materialistic pleasures. I wanted to feel comfortable and have a cute home, with plenty of space, a backyard, that was close to downtown. But none of those things ever gave me that fluttery feeling. In fact, it just gave me extra responsibilities, forced me to work more and be present less, and brought a surplus of stress into my life.
The things that bring me that magical feeling: my son, my community, exploring new places, being in nature, and my creative pursuits...those are the things that I can't live without. I have always put travel off until I was making more money, but the reality was that I was making a choice. I was choosing to put other things before the things that I actually prioritized. If exploring the world with my child was really a priority, why did I allow other things to take precedence?
Since being away from Austin, I've noticed myself slowly letting go of my dreams and the things that I know I'm supposed to be doing. In Austin, I was surrounded by people on the same path as me, so my lifestyle didn't feel so odd, but here it feels isolating. It's exhausting to go against the mainstream worldview and so much easier to assimulate...to try on different lifestyles and conform to the norm.
I know what brings me joy, what my life is supposed to look like, and the type of childhood I want to give my child. So it's a daily choice to align my activities with my deeper goals and intentions. Constantly checking...does this task bring me closer to my goal or does it distract me? Is this really what I want or is it because of outside pressure and expectations? What living situation or work will allow me to move forward with the life I'm trying to create for us?
Do you ever look at your life and imagine what your perfect day or week would look like? Have you ever visualized it?
What stops you from living your ideal life?
Many of us never step back from the day to day stressors and really clarify if our lives are moving in the direction of our goals or away from them.
We had a great day in Boston. We took our first trip to Lego Land, had dinner, and finished our night off with Family Night at Boston Children's Museum. Where I ran into one of my best friends from college, with her husband and adorable kids!
I want more days like this.
Comment below with your deepest dreams. What is preventing you from following them?