Recently, one of my best friends referred to me as the "unintentional minimalist", because a year ago, she would have never believed that I would let go of all my things and start over. I had dreams of living in a tiny house or a renovated trailer, in a community with other families, but my attachment to my "stuff" was preventing me from fully following that desire. I even had the option a few times, but I couldn't imagine not having my things or my father's furniture that was passed down after his death, so I refused to embrace the opportunities that were presented.
Then 2018 rolled around and God must have gotten sick of waiting for me to follow my dreams. I was forced to let go of everything, to energetically create space for the life, relationships, and career that I desperately wanted.
Do you ever hold onto an article of clothing that doesn't fit, has stains, or holes in it? Do you hold onto it because you don't have anything better to replace it with? What if I told you that holding onto that is actually preventing it from being replaced by something that you would love. Well, it is. It also tells your unconscious mind that you are only worthy of that. Same goes for your tattered couch with cat scratched upholstery.
That, my friends, is The Law of Vacuum, which states that you have to create space for whatever you desire to be, do, or have in your life. You have to create space in your life and home, for it to be filled with your desires. If your house, priorities, or mind are filled with clutter, then those desires are sitting on the back burner, waiting for you to give them room.
As we move into 2019, are you focusing on the resolutions and changes that you want to make in your life?
As conscious parents, I assume that many of us want to let go of the things that prevent us from being patient and present with our children. I encourage you to release the clutter that will prevent that change from occurring. De-cluttering your physical and mental space of the things that are creating stress or unease, create space energetically for your desires to manifest.
What are your goals? What changes do you want to see in your life? What negative habits and patterns do you want to release.
The following steps are strategies that I have used in my own life, to de-clutter my space and create space for the life I desired.
Decide which relationships in your life bring you joy or steal your energy. Place boundaries on those relationships to protect your sanity and your stress level. That might be detaching completely or putting energetic space around that person's ability to affect you. I have found that certain relationships caused me so much emotional stress that I would release that energy in my interactions with my child. I chose to dismantle those relationships to preserve my relationship with my little boy and get back to the mother that I used to be.
One strategy for protecting your energy is to mindfully take back your power by only allowing interactions when you have guarded your own energy. So take off email or text notifications on your phone so that you can choose when to engage with them and prepare yourself by meditating first. Perhaps you need to block them from social media to prevent them from encroaching on your personal space.
Start by listing your negative habits and replacing these statements with positive affirmations. For example, these are some of the things that I am focused on changing this year, to let go of the struggle:
I am always late> I am respectful of my time and the time of others. I wake up with more than enough time to get to my desired location 15 minutes early.
I am bad with money. I am always broke.> I am wise with my money and choose to spend it on things that reflect my morals, beliefs, and priorities. I create space for incoming abundance.
I am not consistent> I believe in my gifts and I am willing to let go of the need to self-sabotage the work that I do. I am consistent with my time, my teachings, my presence, and my routines.
Make de-cluttering your home a priority. The less things you have to take care of, the more time and energy you will have to pursue your passions and priorities. My family life is important and although I don't want to regret cleaning over playing board games with my child, I require a clean house for my own emotional sanity. So if I have less to care for, I create more space to be present and intentional.
Create one space in your home, usually a garage, attic, or guest room, that you can devote to housing your clutter for a short time. Create 4 categories, with one sheet of paper in each corner of your room that says, KEEP, DONATE, SELL, or STORE. Depending on your level of clutter, you can take a day, week, or even a month on each room of your home. Go through one room at a time and purge anything that causes you stress, that does not bring you joy...thanks Marie Kondo...that you do not truly love having in your home, and that you have not used recently. Imagine yourself moving into a new home. Would the act of packing it bring your stress or joy?
For kitchen items, do you use it often? Does it serve multiple purposes? Does it fit neatly away or does it need to sit on your counter? I no longer house kitchen items that do not make my life easier or that don't serve multiple purposes. Instead of having a toaster and toaster oven, just use your stove. Get rid of the microwave and use the stovetop. It's healthier and one last thing to clutter your counter-tops. I personally like my counters to be clear of all clutter. It's so much prettier to look at and easier to clean.
Are there sentimental items that you don't use or you hold onto because someone gave them to you? Devote one tupperware box to each family member and for anything else, just take a picture of it and pass it on to someone who will actually use it and love it. I even went so far as burning all of my old journals and photo albums, because I couldn't deal with holding onto things I never looked at and that were old memories that I needed to release.
As for selling items, I really believe that unless you absolutely need the money, it is so much unnecessary work and the act of giving is a powerful gift and statement to God/The Universe.
Make your home an intentional space. Everything that is housed in it should serve a purpose, whether it is to inspire, simplify, organize, or visually bring you joy, make sure that your home is filled with things that are there for a reason and not because you haven't found a suitable replacement.
Remember, the less you have to take care of, the more time you have for the things you value.
Establish routines that automate your life and allow you to clean and organize less. I hardly ever clean. I remember pre-child, I was in a toxic relationship, in a job I absolutely hated, and not living the life that I wanted, at all. I always woke up to dishes in the sink and spent the entire weekend cleaning and trying to get my life in order before Monday rolled around. My space and my home represented the life that I was living.
During that time, I was an atheist and didn't believe that there was a God, but certain things were placed in my life that started me on a spiritual awakening. I ended up watching The Secret and read The Celestine Prophecy, which opened my mind to believing that there was a higher power in my life. Long story short, I was so stressed out and called out for help and I discovered Fly Lady From that website, I developed daily and weekly routines that kept the cleaning, clutter, and chores in check. It's rare that I spend an entire day cleaning, unless I'm changing the house around or spring cleaning and I have far less time than I had pre-motherhood.
Clear out the remaining mental blocks within your life that prevent you from focusing on your desires.
Create a morning routine that you are consistent with. Feed your body healthy, life-giving food. Listen to motivational podcasts while cooking or cleaning up after dinner. Have a self-help book in your bag and next to your bed. Write affirmations all over your home. Set your goals and intentions. Create a vision board. Clarify which negative tracks from your past are still creating problems in your future. Cancel them and replace them with beliefs that line up with your beliefs and priorities. Treat yourself as if you are the person that you want to be.
Clear out the remaining physical blocks that prevent you from having the life and home that you desire. Re-home things that carry negative energy from past relationships or life experiences. Do you want to allow space for a loving relationship, but you still sleep in the bed you shared with your abusive ex? News flash, you're still sleeping with that energy and your ex every night. Release it and start over. You don't think that you have the money to replace everything? Trust me, the perfect item will find you when you least expect it.
Re-purpose and re-arrange the physical spaces in your home to create flow and ease throughout your entire life. Maybe you could do without a dining room, but could really use a messy art and science space for homeschooling. Perhaps that guest room would make an amazing craft space or office for that business you've been dreaming of. Are you sick of being stuck in one place and want to travel and world school your kids? Get rid of all of your crap so that you're ready when the opportunity arises. Make your inner and outer space work for who you want to become and the life and home that you want to have.
What areas of your life are you trying to create space for new goals and visions for your life? Which of these strategies do you find useful for your own journey? Are there any that you use already? I hope that some of these strategies can guide you towards creating a life that you love. Things are always a work in progress, but these steps have really cleared out space to create a life that is in alignment with my purpose, my passions, and the mom that I want to be.
Please reach out if you need guidance in re-purposing your life and home. I offer services that can guide you on the path to de-cluttering the physical and mental attachments that prevent peace in your life. My 2019 Printable Bullet Journal is also being released on December 15th and is the perfect guide to simplify, organize, and de-clutter your life, home, business, and homeschool, so that you have the space to create a life that you love.
Subscribe to Sovereign Motherhood HERE for my printable guide to releasing the struggle, which includes my morning and evening routine, prompt for creating affirmations for your life, steps to detach from the things that no longer serve you, and a prompt to guide you back to the person that you were, before life got a hold of you.