Before I go off and edit my website AGAIN, I need to write. I need to just stop and put this to paper.
Something about my business and my brand... my whole life, to be honest....hasn't been clicking for me. For almost a year!
Stuck. Indecisive. Scattered. All of the things that I've been feeling. I will get inspired, start moving forward, then stall, because I'm not completely clear on my message. What part of my story is meant to inspire? What part is to teach? Which passion or skill is my gift to the world? What am I trying to say? Who am I even serving? Single moms? Stay at home moms? I just need some clarity, it's like there are a million moving pieces and I'm not sure how they fit together.
I'm pretty sure I'm having deja-vu to my Clarity post.
Self-sabotage? Is that what's going on again? I finally gain traction and then decide to switch everything up again?
So as I was putting my son to sleep, we prayed together. I thanked God for our day, for keeping us safe, and then I begged for answers. I said "God, I need to know what I am here for. What is my purpose? What part of my story needs to be heard? What is my gift?"
And before everyone thinks I lost my mind, I swear I'm still sane... the answers started pouring in. I saw my website and I started thinking about my brand and how I was loving the cohesiveness of my images and the roses are pretty, but I actually fucking hate roses and I hate the color pink. And I actually love to say "fuck", but try not to because it's inappropriate and I am supposed to be Christian.
But am I really Christian? Because I follow the moon phases, collect crystals, and read my horoscope and tarot every day, along with my bible? So according to a Christian, I'm probably not.
What part of my life is actually about me and less about fitting into a set of boxes? How often do I filter my words and actions to assimilate into whatever conversation I'm having? I know what version of appropriate I need to be, according to my audience.
After I prayed, I was reading a chapter in my book, Discover the Power Within, it said "this was Jesus' great idea: that the Kingdom of Heaven is a opulent kingdom of substance, of creative ideas" and all of a sudden I was laying in bed and the word "create" brought me back to my
2018 Bullet Journal. Create. Create a life that you love. Demand peace. Find joy. Claim Your Purpose. Be Present. Be Playful.
All of the intuitive deposits that I've been having for the past year started downloading and all of it became crystal clear. The words, phrases, intuitive nudges started fitting together like a puzzle. I started imagining my website as a blank canvas that gets to be completely me. And so does my life. I have this blank canvas before me and I get to create a life that I love. I only have to do the things that fuel me. I get to choose to be free.
I get to create and do the work that fuels my soul. I get to set boundaries with myself, detach from the things that no longer serve me, and create space for filling my days with meaningful life and work. I am choosing to create a life that I love.
Life is too short to fit myself into a set of boxes. I allow myself to be vulnerable and share the parts of my life that I'm guided to share.
Pregnancy was the first time that I was able to harness my intuition. I would write letters to God and ask that I could figure out how to have a pain free labor and I mostly did, minus the last push. Instead of asking for answers from others, I trusted that my intuition, or the Holy Spirit, would lead me. Which is exactly how I started intuitive parenting.
And it's happening again. I'm seeing this conscious collective of people in the same journey, feeling the same pull, trying to make sense of it all.
That's what Sovereign Motherhood is about. It's not just about stay-at-home-moms or becoming mompreneurs. It's about conscious women hearing that small voice that craves more and having the courage to follow it. God, or the Higher Power of your choosing, has given us everything we need within ourselves and in nature. Simplifying our lives, decluttering from unnecessary attachments, and creating time for ourselves and the things that bring you joy.
Sovereign Motherhood is about being true to yourself.
Sovereign Motherhood is about being empowered to seek your own guidance and follow your own path. You know that you have the power and the tools within yourself to find the answers you need, instead of constantly looking outward for answers. You aren't afraid to evolve as women and mothers. It's ok for your passion and interests to change.
Sovereign Motherhood is about finding your strength in your vulnerability. We believe in sisterhood and giving other women the space to seek their own answers, without problem solving or judgement. We ignore labels and embrace diversity in all areas of our lives.
Sovereign Motherhood is about being brave and strong, knowing when to let go. We know when to embrace our power, our sovereignty over our own lives. We know when to just be.
We know to question everything.
I feel a restructuring of society happening. People are evolving, finding synchronicity, questioning our beliefs and faith, led by intuitive nudges, creating lives that represent our need for simplicity and community.
In all my questioning, I've found answers, others who are on the same path, feeling the same pull, especially within the church. I was led to this podcast and blown away by the similarities in my own life: Robcast Podcast
I have found the courage to come home. To be unapologetically ME, with all the contradictions, questioning, and vulnerability.
When you get back to the basics, the answers unfold. It's a beautiful place to be in.