Have you ever been in a place where you are impatient, easily triggered, and filled with anger? It's not enough to believe in attachment parenting or gentle discipline, you need to be in a place where you have a reserve to give from.
There was a period of time where I really struggled to be the mom that I wanted to be. I felt like a fraud. I was "The Attached Caregiver" and I wasn't being calm or patient, as a mom. I was yelling, angry, and not enjoying anything in life.
I now believe it was a combination of anxiety, lack of self care, and an inability to cope with an alcoholic in the family. Turns out when you aren't getting your needs met or dealing with extreme stress, you just can't be the mom you need or want to be.
I learned skills that helped me detach from the people, places, and things in my life that were creating chaos and turned the focus on loving myself, in order to repair and rebuild my family. I was able to re-create the relationship that I wanted with my son and get back to the mom that I always was.
If you're in a place where you're struggling to be that mom, where your actions and intentions aren't in alignment, reach out. If I had known back then what I needed to do in order to get centered again, I wouldn't have struggled and felt ashamed for so long.