The birth of the (single) mother.

January 19, 2018

This is one of those moments that takes my breath away.  The love, the bliss, the bonding between a baby and their momma.  But this moment was also encased in pain, heartache, stress, doubt, uncertainty.

 

The transition into motherhood was never separate from my transition into single motherhood.  I regret not having the skills to process my grief and enjoy every second of being a new mother, but it was also a symbol of my sadness and my shame, feelings of failure as a woman.  I look back at these moments and I'll never get them back, never get to enjoy them free of the suffering. 

 

Becoming a single parent is a process of grieving and loss, just like any other death.  Sometimes we are grieving the partner we lost, the life we envisioned, or our inability to continue to stay home with our children.  I want to show women how to mourn the loss, but free themselves from it. To be present and enjoy every second with their children.  Often times we get stuck in the middle stages of grief, according to Bowlby: yearning/searching, despair/ disorganization.  My goal is to provide women with the skills and support to the final stage: Reorganization and Recovery.

 

 

I think about all of the other single mothers who don't know that there are other options.  Why are there resources to get us back to work and our children in childcare, but there aren't any resources to keep us home with our children?  Why isn't it an option for a single mother to be a stay-at-home-mom, to raise our babies and be present for them, instead of having to work 3 jobs to support our families? It saddens me when a woman is forced to stay in an unhealthy marriage, because she fears that she will have to transition out of the home, even though that was the life that they decided on.  What if women were given access to other options?  I want to offer that option to the women of the world, to walk them through the process of transitioning into single motherhood and continue to live the life that they desire. 

 

I am an Attachment Doula that supports the birth of the connected, content, sovereign mother through the lens of attachment theory.   As a doula, I am a mother's servant, mentor, cheerleader, generalist on all things life and parenting, accountability partner, emotional support system, and coach for women throughout all stages of motherhood, including the transition into single parenting.

 

My goal is to change the world through the way we love our children.  In holding space for you and being responsive to your needs, you are able to live authentically.  When you are living out your purpose, you have the ability to be responsive to your child's needs, which allows you the opportunity to have a deeply connected relationship with them. 
Your child's well-being, and the world as a whole, is directly tied to your ability to follow your intuition, diminish stressors, and create balance in your life.  You can demand peace, find joy, and claim your purpose.  It's just that simple.  

 

"One generation of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world" -Dr. Charles Raison

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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